Flirting

Flirting is an important feature in human interaction. It is our basic instinct, and it is part of the human nature. Humans flirt with one another because in a sense, it is a means of ensuring human survival. If humans didn’t express their interests in those whom they were attracted to, in the opposite sex, the human race would not progress in reproduction, and the lack of renewal could possibly lead to extinction. Although that is likely never to happen, it is still good to know that flirtatious behaviour occurs naturally within us all. Flirting is basically our courtship device used to attract sexual partners, similar to how animals court each other. (ex: some animals will fight for their mate. Others will impress their potential mate with a dance, strut, or mating call.) When humans flirt, their main objective is getting the attention of the opposite sex and, impressing them. This tactic is mainly used by males. 

Flirtatious behavior can take place anytime and anywhere but the most common places for flirtatious behaviour are at parties, social functions and special occasions. This is the “red-zone” for flirting, because not only is it a justified and socially sanctioned place to do so, flirting is pretty much expected at these types of functions. It is also more often than not, the main reason why parties are thrown in the first place. Another common area where flirting is expected is at public drinking places, such as bars, clubs, restaurants and celebrations. These public places make it much easier to flirtatiously interact with one another because there is alcohol involved. It is widely known that alcohol is a highly effective aid for making flirting a much easier task. 

 Learning institutions such as high schools, colleges and universities are also places where flirtation will occur because the majority of young students who are single are searching for someone with whom they can share common interests, and the easiest thing for someone to associate/ interact about is school itself, since almost every student has a similar lifestyle that they can talk about. The work place is usually acceptable for some flirting under certain terms, with certain people or at a staff party as well. Common places for on the job flirting are the cafeteria and coffee machine, because technically, the person isn’t working because they are on break. Flirting has a lot of power to it. It can brighten a person’s day, raise somebody’s self esteem, strengthen social bonds and possibly find someone a partner. It is mainly viewed as a common form of fun. Also, most men have a tendency to mistaken a women’s friendliness for flirting, because the male way of thinking is more sexually oriented than a female’s way of thinking.

  It is a scientific fact that the majority of women are more socially skilled than most men are. The fact that women are socially friendly, and men are likely to mistake their friendliness as an opportunity for courtship may be a barrier as to why courtship is so difficult for most people. Women tend to underestimate their own attractiveness, while men tend to overestimate their own. Another example as to why courting can be frustrating is because older men search for younger more attractive females and physically beautiful women. Women often go for the older men with high-status and wealth. Basically young women who go for older men are gold diggers.

 When two people of the opposite sex meet for the first time, they are in an awkward situation because neither of the two knows the intentions or feelings of each other. Since everyone suffers from fear of embarrassment or rejection, body language is a much easier, more inviting way of flirting rather than verbal communication and much more comfortable when you first meet someone you want to attract. When a person is making an attempt to flirt, they should take into consideration how much of a chance they think they might have. Basically, hit on anybody except for long termed couples and married people. Also, try and go for people who are approximately around the same level of attractiveness as oneself, although it may be hard to do. Also one should not attempt to flirt with someone whom they know is unlikely to return the interest, because it can result in hostility or embarrassment. 

The main component to flirting for people is the ability to impress and show off for the one they are attracted to. It is mostly men who take on this attempt, and sometimes they may go overboard. Men tend to prefer the verbal component of flirting, for example, they like to use cheesy pick-up lines. Women go for non-verbal flirting techniques, like eye contact and body language. There are many techniques to flirting although the main components easily recognized are: humor, touch, talking, f\gestures, compliments, facial expression and vocal signals. Body language is said to be the most important flirting tool of all. “Verbal flirting is a lot like changing gears.” You have to be able to recognize a proper time, or when the opportune moment comes along, because there are unwritten rules and etiquette to carrying a good flirtatious conversation. When a person engages in a flirtation conversation, they should stick to discussing positive things. Never speak negatively, because it is a big turn off to the opposite sex.

 Other turn-offs during a good conversation are: cockiness, superficial, repetition, tediousness, monotone voice, no eye contact and over excitement. Making eye contact is another powerful act of flirtation if used correctly. Normally, people will restrict eye contact with a stranger to only a quick glance. Any prolongs glances turn into stares and may possibly result in acts of hostility, threat or love form the other person, depending on who they lock eyes with. Sometimes, flirtatious signals are hard for the opposite sex to read, so they can’t exactly decipher whether or n they have a chance or not. Therefore, both sexes may get frustrated and move-on. When a person makes eye contact for a considerably long period of time, (for over 3 seconds) then there may be some level of attraction between the two people. If a smile occurs, then it’s okay to presume that the other person is interested, especially if they look away and look back again. 

 If he/she immediately looks away after making eye contact and stays that way, then, they most likely aren’t attracted, unless they’re one of those extremely shy people. Watch for how they interact with other people around them, especially with the opposite sex. Be sure to not over stare, you may cause the situation to become awkward. As for the body language component, simple actions such as posture, leaning forward during a conversation can show that you have interest in what the other person is saying. A theory called mirror-actions, where the couples subconsciously mimic their partner’s actions, is also what a person might want to look for when they’re alone or near the one they’re attracted to, because similar actions are thought to be what people do when they are nervous, or want to catch the attention of their target of affection.

 When engaging in a flirtatious conversation with the opposite sex, it is important to be aware of what facial expressions you are displaying while you speak or are being spoken to. Gestures and facial expression show invitation and interest. They’re used to enliven, and define what one is talking about. A common flirtatious facial expression is the quick eyebrow raise. This expression is obvious for showing attraction. When men want to draw attention to themselves in order to impress the opposite sex, they often try to make themselves appear bigger, walk with dominance and try to look more imposing. Women try to make themselves look smaller by crossing their arms and legs, or, they try t\drawing attention to their assets by flaunting them in subtle ways.

 In the end when all is said and done in the act of flirting, a person’s main goal is to secure a chance to meet up again with the person they like, such as, meet up for coffee or obtain each other’s phone number.